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Sunday, 19 May 2013

A TALE OF THE UNEXPECTED

I didn't write this - but I want to share it - - - -


A TALE OF THE UNEXPECTED


Mary Hitchins was happily married, or so she thought until she caught her husband in bed with his secretary.....

She told Tom, her husband, she was leaving him and would do so within the day. She waited for him to leave for work and then she set about making her own plans.
She called a removal firm and set about packing her personal items and things she thought she should have, into boxes ready for the removal men. She had found a small flat in the wanted ads and already secured it.

The removal men were due at 2:00 and she was going to get the keys for the flat at 3:00 so it was all going to plan. She went down to the supermarket and bought a kilo of prawns in their shells and a 250g tub of caviar. She sat down at the table with a bottle of spring water and ate the prawns and caviar between sips of cool water. She had a reason for this meal. Every time she finished a prawn, she took the head and swiped a little caviar on it and dropped it into a dish. Then, when the removal men were loading her things, she went round the house, popping off the ends of the curtain rods, which were chrome tubes and placing inside a couple of the heads and caviar. As she replaced the last cap end on the last curtain rail, the men said they had finished and she locked the door, dropped the keys back through the letter box and said goodbye to that part of her life.

Later that day, Tom returned home, this time with his new partner, his secretary and together they itemized the things they needed to replace, things Mary had taken. They had a take-away Chinese and slipped into bed. It’s not the purpose of this story to follow their every move... so we move on a few days....

It was a hot weekend that brought it to the fore. The smell I mean. Tom sat up and sniffed. Melissa his new girlfriend sat up and sniffed. Just what was that smell?
They opened the window and sniffed. No, it wasn't outside. It seemed to be all over the house, everywhere they sniffed there it was.

Over the next two weeks they had workmen in, looking for dead animals in the walls, under the floor, in the roof space and inside the ceiling. They found nothing and the smell just got worse with every day.

They decided they couldn't live there any more and put the house on the market, with three different estate agents, but no-one wanted to buy their stinky house.
Eventually, no-one would come to the house, taxis stopped 100 metres up the road, the postman left the mail with the corner shop and the newspaper boys stuck the paper in the gate.

Workmen refused to call and quickly ended any phone call. Estate agents wouldn't answer the phone and Tom was in despair.

Expecting this to be the case, Mary, who had refused to sign the divorce papers called Tom and made a generous offer.
'Sell me the house at a good price, and I'll sign the papers.'
Tom agreed and asked her to meet him along with the solicitors that afternoon. She signed the divorce papers which Tom's solicitor duly witnessed. Then, as agreed, the house papers were drawn up and Mary's solicitor handed over a certified cheque for £12900 which was one tenth of its value.
It was agreed that Tom would move out by 3:00 the following day and Mary would get the keys by 4:00.

At 3:00 Melissa said, 'The cow, taking you for so much, I think we'll just leave her with light bulbs.'
To spite Mary, Melissa took down and loaded into the van, all the curtain rods from the house.........

:)

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